EVERYTHING is bothering me today.
Not 20 minutes after I dropped my children off at middle school this morning I get both an email and a phone message stating that the school had received a bomb threat. They evacuated the kids to the high school and they expected us not to worry because of that. They took all the cell phones away and the land lines to the schools were just ringing and ringing with no answer. We have no local news. There were no updates. Ummmm the high school and the middle school share a cafeteria. They are maybe 100 feet apart. They allowed the kids to eat in the shared cafeteria.
They brought in bomb sniffing dogs and searched the campus but it was a good five hours before they let us know anything. Both of my kids go to that school. I was a nervous effing wreck. Still am. They blocked off the roads miles around the schools. I didn't even get to talk to them until the end of their school day. I'm so tensed up about it I can't stand it.
I was on the way to the Dr's office with my dad when I found this out, to his cardiologist's office that is right next to the oncology center that treated my mother. That's always a hard place to see--even on a good day.
There's this guy I'm blowing off, he's super precious to me, I don't know why I'm being such an asshole. He lives four hours away. He just went through a break up too and we'd just been consoling each other via text and phone calls. It was really nice but it just started making me feel hopeless and sad and like I was wasting time. He wanted to see me, he wanted me to see him and I just didn't really want to. For a while I thought I had man hate. I deserve to have man hate. I should have man hate. Like I was fine talking and texting but not seeing him? I used to date him but I'm not skilled enough to date 2 guys or even to date one guy and talk to any other guy at all and I've been on a few dates with a wonderful man I am very happy with so far--a very gentle and easy going man that doesn't make me feel anxiety. And honestly it was just getting to be too much, I missed his birthday and I feel awful about it. He's texting and emailing me and he's mad and I want to tell him that everythings ok but for some reason I have severe anxiety toward my phone, him in general and it's making me a mess. Ugh I suck at dating.
My kids left for Easter with their dad. That just plain sucks.
Any day that includes my ex is just shit.
The second easter without my mother, my sister and I aren't speaking nor seeing each other.
Also working with her ingrate db of a husband who has caused all the issues between us because he doesn't want us talking just plain sucks. He lied to her for years about 100k in debt he racked up and blames me for her finding out. I didn't tell her. She found out on her own, just so happened that it was when my dad was in the hospital and I was with her. So he's hell bent on making my life hell and I have to work with him.
I got on Facebook while in the dr's office to try and get any information on the bomb threat and was treated to a wonderful post from my ex's new girlfriend talking about what a wonderful guy he is, he cooks, he cleans, he's a great father...I really don't know why that bothers me. It's like today EVERY thing bothers me.
I saw an exit sign for West avenue earlier while driving. That was the alcoholic's last name and it gave me anxiety.
I need a mental break before I snappity, snappity snap.
Seriously Thursday...a bomb threat? Wth?